Finding and losing myself

On my mat I both lose and find myself.

I lose myself in my critic, my mean girl, my ego, my nasty voices in my head.

I lose myself in grocerylists, in to do’s, in emails to reply, in things i need to do.

I lose myself in thoughts, in my monkeymind, in weird old memories 

I lose myself in stories of the past, in stories of my childhood, in memories in my heart.

I lose myself in dark spaces, in hurt, in grief, in anger.

I lose myself in tears.

I lose myself in not wanting to face what arises.

I find myself in not being able to run away.

I find myself following the ebs and flows of my breath.

I find myself in feeling al there is to feel.

I find myself in staying here, in presence.

I find myself in the aches of my body, the tension and the resistance.

I find myself in the fluidity that is here too.

I find myself in trusting the strenght of my core.

I find myself in this strenght knowing that it carries me.

I find myself in appreciation for my wonderfull body  and all that it does for me.

I find myself in appreciation for everything i have in my life.

I find myself in appreciation for this precious lifetime i’ve been given.

I find myself home.

 

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When I arrive on my mat, I both lose and find myself
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